Life.. Love.. and this Dick...

As I listen to a John Coltrane and Duke Ellington record "In a Sentimental Mood" on repeat, I quickly realize how brash and brazen the title to this blog entry is. But fuck it- that's just how I'm feeling right now.

 This entry is about LOVE.. more specifically about someone's theory on love:

 "Falling in love is a choice and love is unmeasurable without death."
                                                         - SJ
And my thoughts about the subject.. Random Ramblings...
So.. I do not agree with this theory but I do not disagree either. Love is a grey area to me. So I'll take a few moments to write down my thoughts about both...

 Love is what? Feelings and Emotions..
Falling in love is a choice. But a choice that can sometimes be made unbeknownst to a person. I know people sometimes say "You can't help who you love or fall in love with".. but I disagree. When you meet a person and decide to court them or be courted by them, whether you feel like you're into them or not (at the start), you have already made  the decision to let this person in and give romance a go. Sometimes things manifest and sometimes they don't.. but as humans God has given us the ability to make our own decisions (well sort of.. I have my own theory on free will and that its kind of BS but I'll blog about it another day) But for today's argument- we have the ability to make choices. We make choices about what to eat, what wear, what music to listen to, what career path to take, to study for a test or hit the club, sell drugs or get a legal job, and etc. CHOICES.. So why wouldn't you think that you have any say in who you fall in love with? We all make conscious decisions to do things every day some important and some not.. and to fall in love with someone is a decision.

 For example: You're dating someone and you really like them. But you were raised in a Christian church and you find out that they are Muslim. Some would end the relationship based off that alone. And this is just one example- you may be saying to yourself that religion wouldn't be an issue for me.. so I challenge you to think of deal breaker for you.. what is it? Do they have no job? Sex is wack? Six kids? No college degree? Get arrested and facing jail time?
Trust me there's something.. and that something is when you decide to make a conscious choice to fall back. But just like you can make the decision to end it, you also can make the decision to move forward with a person.
Falling in love is not a choice. Immediately my mind jumps to the worst.. Why would someone intentionally put themselves through something that could possibly bring them agony and distress? 
It's extremely illogical. It makes no sense for a person to willingly give of themselves.. loyally and selflessly.. for hope. The hope that it will be returned the same way, from day one.. to forever.
Forever, forever ever, forever ever? (Shout out to OutKast)
Love can be an amazing thing- when it is genuinely returned..
But with all of the negatives: when one persons feelings start to decline or they cheat or you find out they were using you or they die or a variety of other terrible things that could happen..
Why do we still pursue this..?

 *Switching the music to American Wedding by Frank Ocean*
Don't have the facts to back it up but I've heard on multiple occasions that more than half of marriages end in divorce.
I know some of my thoughts are incomplete, I have to explain some things on both topics and address the death part of the quote a little bit more but I'm tired and I don't feel like it. (Shoulder Shrug)
Plus my mind has wandered onto...

 True Love.. If you believe in True Love.. Can you truly be in love with more than one person?
So- if you're in a relationship with someone and it does not work out.. do you fall out of love with them and then later fall in love with someone else?
But if Love is true doesn't that contradict the reasoning behind love..?
How can you be in true love with more than one person..?
And is it possible to ever fall out of love with someone?


But hold up- what's the difference between love and true love? Shouldn't all love be true?
This is getting too deep for me right now.

That also brings me to the topic of loving someone vs. being in love with someone.. 

 This Love shit is getting way too confusing..

And then there's Conditional Love..? Is it really love if its conditional? Is all love somewhat conditional?

These are all subjects for another day..


 Of course this quote that I read while picking out a wedding card for my friends comes to mind at the close of this entry.. 

 "Falling in love is not a choice, but staying in love is.."
-Unknown
And I think that sums it up.. I'm no longer in a quandary about this subject. That's exactly what I believe. Love is both.. a choice and a truth..

But I'm all loved out for the night and probably tomorrow too..
Let's talk about something different like..

Life.. and of course this Dick! 

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